Four mindsets for adapting to change

For the last several months, everyone we know has been pushed beyond their comfort zones by persistent, extraordinary change. We are more familiar with feelings of anxiety, defensiveness and uncertainty than we ever thought we’d be. How can we develop a calmer response to change so that we can adapt and work through it when it inevitably happens again?

Four mindsets that can help people adapt to change are mindfulness, curiosity, courage and resilience. These mindsets can help you deal with change in creative ways.

Mindfulness

We hear a lot about mindfulness these days. I’ve learned about it from my daughter-in-law, Madeleine Homan Blanchard. To be mindful simply means making the choice to slow down and notice what you’re thinking and feeling without judgment. It’s about stopping and paying attention to your own thoughts and feelings in the moment.

For example, let’s say you have a strong negative reaction to something you’re working on. Your first thoughts are, “Why is my attitude so bad about this? What’s wrong with me?” Here you are, first feeling something negative, then judging yourself negatively for feeling it.

When you practice mindfulness, it’s OK if you realize you’re having a negative feeling — just don’t judge yourself for it. Notice the feeling and let it happen. Feeling negative doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. In fact, it’s completely normal and doesn’t have to mean anything at all.

How does mindfulness help us deal with change? When we are more aware of what is taking place inside us and around us, we can respond first with acceptance. Then we can choose our reaction to the change and adapt to shifting conditions.

Curiosity

Curiosity is about seeking to understand. It’s a bit like mindfulness because you’re still noticing how you think and feel so that you can make a choice about what to do instead of just reacting.

But curiosity is also about what other people — colleagues, friends, family — are thinking and feeling. Help to seek out solutions to their concerns about the change: “How can I be an advocate for others? Who else can help?”

Curiosity helps reduce the fear of the unknown. It’s the place you can go when you’re digging your heels in and thinking, “This is not working for me.” Instead, think “How can I approach this situation differently?”

Cultivate curiosity about the change itself by seeking to better understand why, what, how and when things are going to happen. Gaining knowledge about something will often make it less daunting.

Courage

During times of great change, having courage isn’t necessarily about being confident or in control of what is happening. In this context, courage is about being willing to speak out when you are uncertain. Don’t just think “I don’t really know what’s going on, so I’m going to power through this.” Ask questions when you don’t understand something.

Courageous people know to take action that helps them feel more optimistic, more included and less victimized by change, such as sharing their ideas and concerns: “Maybe there’s a better way.” “Let’s try this.” Consider speaking up, for example, if you believe you know things the change leaders don’t know, or if you are aware of obstacles that could derail the change.

People also demonstrate courage when they ask for what they need, such as support, reassurance or mentoring. Thinking of yourself as courageous can give you options and energy to act, not just react. And that’s a great position of strength.

Resilience

Some people are intuitively and naturally resilient. How do they do it? For one thing, they know what they are good at and what their strengths are — and they choose to lean on those things. Maybe you’re a positive, encouraging person to be around, or maybe you’re great at analytical problem solving. Acknowledge those strengths. What do you bring to the table? And, think about the people around you. What do you know about their strengths that you can remind them of?

Resilient people focus on what they can control, and let go of what they can’t control. For example, I rarely watch or listen to the news anymore. I read the headlines so that I don’t miss anything critical. But I find it exhausting to try to focus on events I have no control over when I could be concentrating on important things in my life that I can control.

Finally, don’t forget the famous phrase: ”This too shall pass.” Time goes by and tends to soften the hard times we experience. Before we know it, months have passed and those problems are long gone — perhaps we figured out a way to solve them, or maybe we just got through them together.

Change is a fact of life. Choose to face it head on by practicing mindfulness, demonstrating curiosity, speaking up with courage and following through with resilience. The more change-adaptive we are as individuals, leaders and organizations, the better we will be able to meet each change that comes our way.